And it came to pass in the second year when Cameron and Clegg were rulers of Britain and Barry Ben Parsons was Governor of Torridge that the people groaned and e-wailed under the burdens that the usurers and tax collectors had laid upon them.
And they murmured amongst themselves saying
‘Our rulers have privatised the granary and are rigging the price of corn, and have stolen even that which we have saved up for our old age.
Yeah, our land is being stolen from us by mamaunders who destroy our fields and orchards and pull down our cottages so that they might build palaces for strangers who know not the way of our fathers.’
And the people said unto themselves ‘Why are we taxed so harshly? Where are these taxes going but to fill the pockets of the King’s officers and usurers?’
Now the word of the Lord was scarce in those days, and the people did not cry out unto Him, for everyone did what was right in their own eyes and went a-whoring after the gods of celebrity and strictly come money-making.
And likewise the priests followed not the Lord’s command to chide the people and the rulers of the land for their worship of mammon. Nay, but they raged amongst themselves saying
‘Shall a woman have equal authority with a man? If we are to be holy should we not first have a right understanding of what men do with their dangly bits?’
And there was much confusion and gnashing of teeth.
And there was at that time an Irsharite dwelling in thelandofNortham, a scribe given to strange outbursts and dreaming.
And behold, he looketh out of his chamber and saw the desolation of the land, how the trees had been cut down and the fields abandoned such that many villas could be built upon them, yeah, even unto the edges of the seashore.
Yeah, and how the poor could not even buy a small hovel wherein to lay their heads, but were forced to toil unceasingly to pay rent to rich landlords while many great villas lay empty.
And the word of the Lord came to this man whose name was Jeremiah and sayeth unto him
‘gird up thy loins and get thee unto the wilderness that lieth beyond Skern, and stand though upon the great ridge that overlooketh theSevernSea.’
And Jeremiah did as the Lord commanded him, and went forth in his transit into the wilderness and stood upon the great ridge.
Then the Lord sayeth unto him ‘Lift up thine eyes and look unto the West; what seest thou?’
And Jeremiah replied ‘ I see great towers Lord, like that ofBabelproudly reaching forth to heaven, and no wildlife remaineth there.’
Then the Lord sayeth unto him ‘Thou seest rightly. They are an abomination unto me and unto the spirit of my servant Kipling. They and their ilk are an offence to all who love justice and the beauty of my biosphere.
Therefore get thee to that place and say unto the builders thereof, ‘behold, thus sayeth the Lord; I am bringing a great wind from the North and a great tempest of seas to destroy these abominations that thou has set up. And there shall not be one stone left upon another.’
And the Lord said ‘Yeah, even this ridge upon which thou standeth shall be swept away. Yeah, the waters shall cover even this wilderness, and they that strike their balls over it shall do so no more. Verily verily I say unto thee, ships shall once more lay anchor beneath the shadow of Boot Hill. Let he who has ears to hear let him hear.’
And Jeremiah fell on his knees and rent his anorak, and cried out with a loud voice saying
‘Lord, what of the righteous; wilt thine anger be kindled against them also? What of the Irsharites and Richmondites, the Insodomites, Weird-giffodites and those that live nigh upon the way that leadeth by the house of Knapp and Hubberstone, who abhor mightily those who obey not the covenant of their ancestors, but go a-whoring after mammon. Wilt thou destroy them also?’
And the Lord took Jeremiah up in vision and showed him the world that he had made.
And Jeremiah beheld the burning forests and dying seas, and the concrete that covered the earth that men had laid down over it, and the pollution that obscured the heavens and the abominations that maketh desolation.
And Jeremiah was struck dumb and laid himself down prostrate on the pebbles and wept.
Then the Lord spake unto him again after this manner
‘ If they repent and turn away from their greed, and honour truth and justice in their scales and in their council chambers, and look everyone to their neighbour and the stranger that is within their gates, and turn once again to the land that I have given them to care for it, then will I begin to open up the fist of my wrath and lay my open hand of healing upon them.’
Then Jeremiah rose up and mounted his transit, and made haste back to his chamber and wrote down all that the Lord had told unto him to say unto the rulers of the land in which he dwelt.
But they harkened not unto him.